


Happiness Is A Warm Pizza

by Jantique



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-17
Updated: 2011-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-22 17:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jantique/pseuds/Jantique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny eats pizza. Mocking ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happiness Is A Warm Pizza

Danny Williams was not a happy man. He’d spent the days interviewing “witnesses” who, like the Three Monkeys, didn’t see, didn’t hear and didn’t tell, and following leads that led nowhere. He missed Steve, but more urgently, he’d missed lunch, and it was now 6:30. As he dragged himself into Five-0 headquarters, he was incalculably cheered to smell – was that? – yes, PIZZA!

 

“Oh, thank God!”, he exclaimed. “I’m starving!” He grabbed a slice and promptly inhaled half of it. He then mumbled, “Hi, everyone”, with his mouth full.

 

Steve looked at Kono, who looked at Chin. They all looked at Danny and smiled broadly. (Okay, Steve was smirking.)

 

Steve started to laugh, turning it into a cough. “Danny, does that pizza taste a little, ah, _funny_ to you?”

 

Danny stopped chewing. “What, you gave me the poisoned pizz—” He looked at his slice, of which only the crust now remained. He looked down at the remnants of the pizza in the box, for the first time seeing the pineapple and ham and did we mention, _pineapple_?!!

 

“Ahh, SHIT!”

 

At that, everyone else in the room broke into laughter. Danny knew he would never live this down. He threw his crust back into the pizza box.

 

“That’s it, laugh it up, you _did_ give me the fucking poisoned pizza, you are so dead, all of you, and especially you, McGarrett, you can just sleep on the couch _forever_ —”

 

Steve laughed, “Excuse me, _my_ house, _my_ bed? I don’t think so! Come to think of it, who invited you to eat my Hawai’ian pizza?”

 

Danny kept ranting. “Okay, that’s it, the honeymoon’s over, I am so outta here!”

 

Kono and Chin were beside themselves. There was no better entertainment on the island than Steve and Danny going at it. Especially when you knew they would eventually kiss and make up.

 

But Danny couldn’t keep it up, and he started laughing at himself. “Okay, okay, you got me that time. Fine. Just remember, you _will_ pay, and when you least expect it!” He leveled a glare around the room that had been known to stop criminals dead in their tracks. It had zero effect on his team.

 

“Tell the truth, brah,” Kono said through her laughter. “It wasn’t that terrible, was it? Or you couldn’t have eaten a whole slice!”

 

“I never tasted it!” Danny protested. “I swallowed without chewing, I – okay, okay, maybe it wasn’t as horrible as I expected. It just doesn’t taste like pizza. Um, well, if I was starving and there was no other food on the planet, I could probably – maybe – eat it.”

 

Wild cheers and applause greeted this pronouncement. Danny glared again, just to be on record, then relented. “Listen, I need to wash this taste out of my mouth. Who’s up for a beer?”

 

This garnered a chorus of “Sure” from Kono and Chin, and “The haole’s buying!” from Steve, who Danny hated so very much. Really. But he knew the proper counterattack.

 

“Fine, if I’m buying, it’s Bud Lights all around.”

 

Chin winced, Kono fake-gagged, and Steve sighed and said, “Fine, Longboards on me.”

 

More cheers, from Kono and Chin. Kono quietly passed Chin a twenty behind Danny’s back. She’d _never_ thought he would actually _eat_ that pizza!

 

Harmony restored, they all went out for a few. And if Steve kept the Longboards coming, and got Danny three-quarters drunk, accidentally-on-purpose, and if he subsequently bought Danny a _pineapple_ shave ice, and if Kono took video – _video_! – showing Danny actually enjoying said pineapple shave ice – hey, what’s a little blackmail among friends? (But Steve made Kono promise not to show Danny said video until Monday. He had plans for the weekend, and they did _not_ involve sleeping on the couch!)

 

 

END

 


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